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zhijie09-12-90 More than words.
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Monday, October 27, 2008
yesterday..met miki at 2+.. then went into school then walked into band room .. philwinds clarinet ensemble was playing... guess what.. its damn nice lah... then helped ghee pack scores .. then went for sectionals... im 80% always rushing lah.. damn sian... i dont count beats.. i play by feel manz.. even though thats the wrong way.. anyway.. played persis.. sucked.. then later blue shades.. god.. solo... have to decide whos gonna play it lah.. i think pauline should play it lah.. i no confidence.. also that when people have high hopes on me .. i probably perform worst... serious.. if theres nobody to like stress me or hope that i can play.. i can play it naturally.. i have performed any solos in tip top condition.. seriously.. when theres solos.. i always break down. im kinda under stressed lah.. so many things has been happening.. schoolwork .. politics .. people hating me .. my sucky playing.. my life.. people around me.. whatever.. why do i think so much anyways.. everyone is changing everyday.. that i know.. but i cant really differentiate whether its for the better or for the worst. as sinfoniques getting closer.. the more moodless i am.. the more sickly i'll feel ... the lousier i will perform ... and once again.. i'll screw up everything... maybe im not suitable to play music.. i dont know |
Goodbye.
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